Grammy Awards, we appreciate the Sunday night grinding lesson

27 Jan
Image: Kevork Djansezian/Getty Images

Image: Kevork Djansezian/Getty Images

Maybe it was wrong to teach my daughter to cross her legs when sitting in a chair.

Thank you, CBS and the Grammy Awards. Thank you for showing me the error of my ways at 8 p.m. on a Sunday evening.

I sincerely appreciate you starting the show with Beyoncé demonstrating the proper way to sit and writhe in a chair. Wear a thong and spread your legs. Got it. It truly was an amazing and child-friendly tutorial on how to use household furnishings as erotic props, and I thank you.

The bonus lesson from Jay Z was pretty awesome as well. He showed that men really don’t “exploit” women in the music industry. Come on, folks. Beyoncé is his wife, and he’s got a baby girl at home. Did you miss hearing him dedicate his Grammy to them? The haters are just jealous they don’t have the courage to publicly embrace their sensuality, and they’re really thinking, “She is a beautiful singer/dancer, AND I’d like to talk to her about her recent paper on advancements in neuropsychiatry.”

I was a bit disappointed about the use of the  seven-second delay on some of the lyrics. Thankfully, some of the good stuff got through, and I was able to read lips for the other things. A few folks may consider it censorship because you bleeped lyrics that showcased the beautiful intimacy of love between a man and woman. Where would our world be without a couple singing loving affirmations such as, “I’m rubbing on it, rub-rubbing” and “Slid the panties right to the side; ain’t got the time to take drawers off?”

The performance reminded me of a speech the late curmudgeon Fred Rogers shared when he was inducted into the Television Hall of Fame:

Fame is a four-letter word; and like tape or zoom or face or pain or life or love, what ultimately matters is what we do with it. I feel that those of us in television are chosen to be servants. It doesn’t matter what our particular job, we are chosen to help meet the deeper needs of those who watch and listen–day and night! …We all have only one life to live on earth. And through television, we have the choice of encouraging others to demean this life or to cherish it in creative, imaginative ways. (From The World According to Mister Rogers (Kindle Locations 540-558).)

Thank you for meeting America’s deeper needs, CBS.

5 Responses to “Grammy Awards, we appreciate the Sunday night grinding lesson”

  1. Kim Keller January 30, 2014 at 8:40 PM #

    I much prefer the 21st century. They had morality issues back then, too. Today’s technologies make it easier to see and share bad behavior, and they are powerful in making it seem like the norm. I firmly believe depravity is not as entrenched as they make it appear; however, too many people are afraid to speak out against it.

  2. nomomrniceguy January 28, 2014 at 9:25 AM #

    You know – I have been giving further thought to this – if we (a rational people) allow this type of behavior – and condone it by not taking a stand, then what is next in the progression?

    The next step for the dapper rapper and the flapper singer is the making of the child. They are justifying what they did as natural, passion, and love. So where does it end ? Do we have a procreation cam on stage next year?

    The people that develop this type of thing are not Godly people. They are dark in the heart. This is more than sensationalism. It is a wrong path. It is bad. It is very disheartening.

    Then Katie Perry and her witchcraft dance, aka demonic, was another display of values. Then using church windows and a religious tone to promote gay marriage, what is with that? If two women want to marry, do so. Fine. But to suggest my church should have to do it or condone it is wrong.

    There is good and bad. There is good and evil. We are seeing a rise of evil in our world. It is up to us to display the good. Please pray for our children folks. Please pray for our world and help shape a wholesome message for your world.

  3. Katie January 27, 2014 at 10:01 PM #

    And yet people keep watching and supporting it.

  4. Tressa January 27, 2014 at 5:25 PM #

    I changed the channel, as soon as Beyonce began her tutorial on appropriate attire and posture for ladies to be seated.

    I miss Mr. Rogers.

  5. Brigitte January 27, 2014 at 12:46 PM #

    I felt creepy and queasy when I saw and heard the opening of the show, although I told my son I was blocking it out so I could get some reading done before Paul and Ringo got ready to perform. Even my son was appalled at the opening routine of the Grammys last night and indignant at me for watching. I paid just enough attention to not miss out on the performers I wanted to see. Had it not been for Paul and Ringo, I wouldn’t have bothered at all. When they finally came on, I was really pleased, but I can’t remember what they sang because my son KEPT TALKING during their performance. It will be a long time before I watch the Grammys again: The stature of a couple of Beatles only barely outweighed the smut I had to put up with.

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